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About smart, fast heads and the important connection to the body
This week I played a game of curbs with a number of children. Do you remember that? Both sides are on an opposite sidewalk and you get a point when the ball comes back from the curb. Simple game, clear rules. At least, that’s what I thought. But nothing could be further from the truth. Three of these children are smart, perhaps gifted, I don’t dare to say that about all of them. And it was precisely these three children who kept questioning and adjusting the rules.
And suddenly I saw the link. These three children, with a very strong and fast head, kept looking for a boundary that they could accept. A boundary, a rule, that was right and that they could stick to. A rule that did justice to all doubtful cases and made the game safe. Because only from the clear rules of the game did the competition become less and they enjoyed the game. The play could begin and we all know how important play is for children!
A well-functioning probing system therefore gives you information about your boundary with the outside world. You also get information from within, namely stimuli from the muscles and joints (proprioskepticism). The better this information can be processed, from the inside and outside, the better you are in connection with your body. If the information comes in just right, not too hard and not too soft and can be processed well, you know where you are in the room, where your body is and where your boundary with the outside world is. You get that information automatically, it is automatic, you don’t have to do anything for it. You don’t have to move extra, or feel all kinds of things, to know where you are. Or to avoid tactile stimuli because otherwise they overwhelm you and you get out of connection with your body.
Overly sensitive, or undersensitive senses cause stress, because your body no longer automatically tells you where you are and where the outside world begins. You can imagine that it is precisely this information that is extremely important to feel safe. A person will then automatically do things to feel safe again.
If your body then gives the most important input, you will move and feel when understimulated. For example, when overstimulated, you can build up muscle tension, sit still and avoid stimuli. It takes time to help your body to rest or activity with physical signals. However, thoughts go very fast, they can instantly help you stress, or calm you down.
What if the curbs children, with those fast heads, try to restore safety in themselves through their thoughts. By examining and clarifying all possible doubts and ambiguities, precisely because they have lost the connection with their body. Because they are so fast in their heads, can create safety with their heads, but as a result they actually lose the connection with their body more and more?
If my hypothesis is correct, then it could be that gifted children actually benefit from a lot of touch and proprioceptive input. A lot of physical heavy work, to feel better and to make more connection with oneself. Then they may kick less against the autonomy of the other and stand more from their own autonomous strength. It’s worth trying, right?
Okay, suppose you go along with my story. And you want to put it to the test. Then you need a lot of ideas on how to add more touch and proprioceptive stimuli. Now I know that most people have an idea about touch. But, that propriocepsis is more difficult. So I’d like to give you some games here to get more involved in propriocepsis.
You see, very simple ways to get children to do more with their bodies. Maybe these are not things that your gifted child does a lot on its own, but it is precisely then that it is your responsibility as a parent to establish the connection with the body. In the end, you don’t just help your smart child by cognitively tuning in to what he or she needs. But also by letting him physically experience how his or her body is doing. Only when there is a connection with the body can your child start to regulate his own stress. And that seems very important to me in our time!
[Previously appeared on Drabblez.nl]
