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Yesterday I gave two workshops in a row. And today I’m tired. If you would ask me how I am doing, “tired” would be my answer. A little more precisely, I feel the following: my lower back is nagging, I feel a slight cramping fatigue, it feels like I have to go to the toilet but that’s not the case, my shoulders and neck feel stiff, my eyelids feel burning, my left calf pulls a little, I feel muscle cramps in my jaws. And I call that tired.
Yes, I know, it’s a lot of physical sensations. I have, in technical terms, a hyperresponsive response to the interoceptive system. And now in plain English: all signals that I register from the inside, the (biological) changes IN my body hit hard. So loud and clear that I can’t just turn them off. I feel them, they are there and I can’t ignore them.
Sherrington defined interoceptive perception in 1948 as a person’s degree of sensitivity to bodily signals. Interoception is opposed to exteroception, which has to do with the perception of the external environment, and proprioception, which reflects the position of the body in a space (Sherrington, 1948).
If you know me, then you have heard or read the word proprioception. This sense is the queen of the senses. Switching on your posture and muscle feeling immediately provides calmness when you need it (and rhythmically heavy work, for example) and alertness when you move arrhythmically in space. Unfortunately, this sense is unknown to many, but once in sight you will not lose it. This sense is more likely to have an underregistration than an overregistration. So, you are more likely to feel too little out of your posture and muscle feeling than too much.
In many sensitive, sensitive children, however, there is a sense that is just as unknown as proprioception and registers often and quickly. So it’s not about posture and your position in space, but they are physical signals. Those interoceptive signals can get in the way. Because this sense registers how you are doing physically and therefore has a high priority: because, bladder full means that you have to pee NOW, thirst means drink NOW, eat hungry NOW.
You really can’t just ignore or turn off such a signal. That could be dangerous for your body. So, if your interoception is hypersensitive and you easily register a pressure change in your bladder, for example, and you therefore get the signal that you need to urinate, then it is very difficult if you are not allowed (for example at school) when you have to. In fact, it is almost impossible to be anywhere else with your attention than with that full bladder.
And yet, subconsciously, it is exactly what we often expect from children. That they ignore that incentive is there. Because, if you have to pee and you are not allowed to, don’t you tell that child that the physical signals can be ignored? Or, which also often happens, it is said that what a child says is not true. The child cannot possibly have to go to the toilet AGAIN, it has just been. But yes, when she registers that there is another pressure change in the bladder, it does feel like she has to urinate. And to disprove her signal is like to disempower her inner world. And I don’t think anyone wants that consciously.
Now I can hear you thinking: but then again, you can’t possibly let that child go to the toilet every 10 minutes, can you? I agree with you, because a child can never lose himself in play, or delve into a task. Because always that stimulus is yelling at her. And that’s really not nice either, I can tell you from experience. Because sometimes it’s the bladder, but imagine that it’s about your heartbeat that you feel going faster. And it feels like your heart is bursting, or you’re out of breath and it feels like you’re suffocating. Can you imagine that that can make you very anxious?
Research has also shown that children with hyper registration on interoception link emotions to it very directly. Makes sense, isn’t it, if you are a toddler, in the middle of the magical phase and always feel that your heart is beating very fast that you think your heart is going out? And that you then try to tell that but that everyone says that is not possible. But you can feel it! That can make you quite anxious and confused. Anxious, because it really feels that way. And confused, because everyone says it’s nonsense. You have to stand quite firmly in your shoes as a sensitive toddler to stay calm and calm. And let you be a bit on the young side for that…..
I see it as the task of the parents to help children give meaning to the signals they receive. What do you feel? What does that actually mean? I was shocked by something this afternoon. My heart was in my throat and my arms tingled with tension. By experiencing those feelings and telling myself that I was very shocked but that I would soon calm down again and stay with my sensations until that was the case, the experience was positive. Because, after all, I also felt that I was calming down again.
However, children are often very quickly pulled away from the sensations they experienced in the hustle and bustle of the day, without also perceiving the peace or a pleasant feeling in their body again. If we can make time for that, they develop a positive relationship with their body.
I have now learned that the stimulus is there, that I can register that stimulus, but that I can learn to place it better. So, I’ve learned about myself that a little pressure in the bladder doesn’t mean I have to go to the toilet right away. And I can now tolerate those stimuli without feeling pain and creating a higher muscle tension, without pushing it away and ignoring it, but I can deal with that stimulus.
Very mindful I can tell you, if you learn and can do that. That is ultimately about being able to be with what is. Not judging it or attaching a label to it and knowing what the stimulus means. So, very factually naming what is there. Yes, your heart beats fast, doesn’t it? That feels quite exciting. And it’s because you’ve been running fast, or find something exciting, for example. But when you are calm again, you will notice that your heart beats softer again. Shall we try to breathe slowly a few times? You see, now it’s going slower.
Staying with it, without fear but in trust. Giving words to the stimulus and giving meaning. So, what is it that you feel and what does that actually mean.
And then a sensitive interoceptive perception suddenly becomes an advantage
In the meantime I have learned that these signals are real, that not everyone feels them, but I do. And with that I can ensure that my body stays in balance. After all, if you can’t ignore the signals, you have to take good care of yourself. I have my own mindfulness instrument at hand at all times and therefore always have the opportunity to adjust myself.
And, as a therapist I have an extra advantage: I know what it is like to register a lot, can name every signal and give meaning to it AND I am the living example that you can experience the signals in confidence…..
This blog was previously published on Drabblez
